In Neil Gaiman's American Gods, the main character Shadow, while still in prison, listens to the story of another prisoner who happens to be a recidivist. The reason he's a recidivist is because when released on parole, he was taken to the airport. And at the airport he used his by-now expired driver's license as ID. And when the lady at the ticket counter did not accept it, he became somewhat belligerent, because letting someone disrespect you in prison is a bad idea.
Cue airport security kicking him out, him never catching his flight, him going on a drinking binge that culminated in an armed robbery and finally being right back in prison with a longer sentence. What said inmate learned from the experience is summed up thusly:
"And the moral of this story, according to Johnnie Larch, was this: don't piss off people who work in airports.
'Are you sure it's not something like 'The kind of behavior that works in a specialized environment, such as prison, can fail to work and in fact become harmful when used outside such an environment'?' said Shadow, when Johnnie Larch told him the story.
'No, listen to me, I'm telling you, man,' said Johnnie Larch, 'don't piss off those bitches in airports.'"
Five days after I wrote Coronavirus Nights, this is what my feed is currently reminding me of. Everyone's pet political theory, no matter how ridiculous, is being trumpeted as a way out of or at least through the pandemic.
Ammo's started flying off the shelves, and being ignored in favor of toilet paper. A small but growing number of folks are seeing bare supermarket shelves and reasoning their homes are next, and are seeking to defend themselves. I'm seeing reports from gun shops in California that buying sprees are well under way, though quarantines and lockdowns meeting mandatory waiting periods may leave several unarmed anyway. On top of that, a lot of these first-time buyers are Asian-Americans looking at renewed threats of racial violence.
And I'm seeing a lot of gunbunnies, tacticlowns, and worse, boomer fudds, sitting back on their prepper cases and proclaiming they were right all along.
"I'm telling you, man, don't piss off those bitches in airports."
Mitt Romney of all fucking people is talking about cash payments to every citizen. Which, given the sporadic pay structures of the industries hit hardest by all the closures, means that direct grants may well be the easiest and most effective way of providing relief in a case this big and this fast. Whether or not it's effective on a more mundane scale is... debatable.
"I'm telling you, man, don't piss off those bitches in airports."
Just saw an article flying by that claims single-payer systems are more efficient than a for-profit model. Not reading it, but no shit. Single-controller is more efficient when you're dealing with a plague. Doesn't mean it's optimal or unharmful if used as general policy.
"I'm telling you, man, don't piss off those bitches in airports."
I'm not even going to go into what my anxiety-riddled artist friends are posting to try to stave off panic.
Remember:
We're still in an election year.
Time in quarantine means time to panic and be jerks.
There's no crisis so fast it can't be taken advantage of to push whatever agenda you've got, and this one's bigger and slower than most.
And most of all,
"Are you sure it's not something like 'The kind of behavior that works in a specialized environment, such as prison, can fail to work and in fact become harmful when used outside such an environment'?"
"'No, listen to me, I'm telling you, man, don't piss off those bitches in airports.'"
Cue airport security kicking him out, him never catching his flight, him going on a drinking binge that culminated in an armed robbery and finally being right back in prison with a longer sentence. What said inmate learned from the experience is summed up thusly:
"And the moral of this story, according to Johnnie Larch, was this: don't piss off people who work in airports.
'Are you sure it's not something like 'The kind of behavior that works in a specialized environment, such as prison, can fail to work and in fact become harmful when used outside such an environment'?' said Shadow, when Johnnie Larch told him the story.
'No, listen to me, I'm telling you, man,' said Johnnie Larch, 'don't piss off those bitches in airports.'"
Five days after I wrote Coronavirus Nights, this is what my feed is currently reminding me of. Everyone's pet political theory, no matter how ridiculous, is being trumpeted as a way out of or at least through the pandemic.
Ammo's started flying off the shelves, and being ignored in favor of toilet paper. A small but growing number of folks are seeing bare supermarket shelves and reasoning their homes are next, and are seeking to defend themselves. I'm seeing reports from gun shops in California that buying sprees are well under way, though quarantines and lockdowns meeting mandatory waiting periods may leave several unarmed anyway. On top of that, a lot of these first-time buyers are Asian-Americans looking at renewed threats of racial violence.
And I'm seeing a lot of gunbunnies, tacticlowns, and worse, boomer fudds, sitting back on their prepper cases and proclaiming they were right all along.
"I'm telling you, man, don't piss off those bitches in airports."
Mitt Romney of all fucking people is talking about cash payments to every citizen. Which, given the sporadic pay structures of the industries hit hardest by all the closures, means that direct grants may well be the easiest and most effective way of providing relief in a case this big and this fast. Whether or not it's effective on a more mundane scale is... debatable.
"I'm telling you, man, don't piss off those bitches in airports."
Just saw an article flying by that claims single-payer systems are more efficient than a for-profit model. Not reading it, but no shit. Single-controller is more efficient when you're dealing with a plague. Doesn't mean it's optimal or unharmful if used as general policy.
"I'm telling you, man, don't piss off those bitches in airports."
I'm not even going to go into what my anxiety-riddled artist friends are posting to try to stave off panic.
Remember:
We're still in an election year.
Time in quarantine means time to panic and be jerks.
There's no crisis so fast it can't be taken advantage of to push whatever agenda you've got, and this one's bigger and slower than most.
And most of all,
"Are you sure it's not something like 'The kind of behavior that works in a specialized environment, such as prison, can fail to work and in fact become harmful when used outside such an environment'?"
"'No, listen to me, I'm telling you, man, don't piss off those bitches in airports.'"
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