Note one:
If you've never been in one before, understand that nothing goes on in a gender-neutral bathroom that doesn't go on in a gendered bathroom.
Or at least it shouldn't.
Close and latch the stall door to the best of your ability.
Give a backblast warning if at all possible.
Don't try to start up idle conversation. If you're bored, scribble on the walls of the stall or check your phone like everyone else.
And most importantly,
DON'T FLIRT!
Seriously, do you not see the disadvantage you're putting yourself at?
Fuck, at least wait until you've washed your hands.
Sweet Daddy Odin, wash your hands.
Note two:
Someone wearing headphones is the closest thing in Western society we have to wearing "LEAVE ME ALONE" t-shirts. In the gym, on the subway, on the street, whatever, they all mean the same thing. Leave the person wearing me be.
Now, out here in the abstract world, we can argue the effectiveness of societal use of personal space bubbles, their effectiveness or lack thereof, and their affect on situational awareness.
That doesn't change the fact that people who intentionally break the unspoken rule of "leave the person wearing headphones in public alone" fall into three categories:
One, vendors trying to make a sale.
Two, dumbasses who think societal rules don't apply to people they're attracted to
Three, fucking predators.
If you don't have a hot dog cart within arm's reach and you're still not leaving the headphoned alone, your options are limited, fuckstick.
Note three:
If being a hetero dude has one universal constant, it's being turned down by a lady.
Often, before you've even had a chance to make your case.
Seriously, it happens to all of us.
ALL of us.
Yep, him too. You probably didn't see it, but it totally happened.
But I can see where you wouldn't believe it.
Because some hetero dudes experience this, get a divide by zero error in their head (not gonna speculate as to which) and suddenly fire off the discourtesy cannon.
Sometimes it's melodramatic disappointment, as if the lady's somehow disappointed all humanity by NOT desiring you.
And sometimes it's truly vile bullshit. Acting like she kicked your messenger down the well, and now you're threatening to conquer her Sparta.
But melodramatic, vile, or both, pulling this only proves one thing:
You fucking suck at being a hetero dude.
Seriously, you can't experience the one universal experience to us without being a sniveling loser or a vicious shit? I'd shoot you down too.
A quick "no worries" and going about your business costs you nothing but a little willpower at most, and makes the world a better place overall.
Try it and you might catch up to the rest of us.

Notes to hetero dudes, from another hetero dude.
Note one:
If you've never been in one before, understand that nothing goes on in a gender-neutral bathroom that doesn't go on in a gendered bathroom.
Or at least it shouldn't.
Close and latch the stall door to the best of your ability.
Give a backblast warning if at all possible.
Don't try to start up idle conversation. If you're bored, scribble on the walls of the stall or check your phone like everyone else.
And most importantly,
DON'T FLIRT!
Seriously, do you not see the disadvantage you're putting yourself at?
Fuck, at least wait until you've washed your hands.
Sweet Daddy Odin, wash your hands.
Note two:
Someone wearing headphones is the closest thing in Western society we have to wearing "LEAVE ME ALONE" t-shirts. In the gym, on the subway, on the street, whatever, they all mean the same thing. Leave the person wearing me be.
Now, out here in the abstract world, we can argue the effectiveness of societal use of personal space bubbles, their effectiveness or lack thereof, and their affect on situational awareness.
That doesn't change the fact that people who intentionally break the unspoken rule of "leave the person wearing headphones in public alone" fall into three categories:
One, vendors trying to make a sale.
Two, dumbasses who think societal rules don't apply to people they're attracted to
Three, fucking predators.
If you don't have a hot dog cart within arm's reach and you're still not leaving the headphoned alone, your options are limited, fuckstick.
Note three:
If being a hetero dude has one universal constant, it's being turned down by a lady.
Often, before you've even had a chance to make your case.
Seriously, it happens to all of us.
ALL of us.
Yep, him too. You probably didn't see it, but it totally happened.
But I can see where you wouldn't believe it.
Because some hetero dudes experience this, get a divide by zero error in their head (not gonna speculate as to which) and suddenly fire off the discourtesy cannon.
Sometimes it's melodramatic disappointment, as if the lady's somehow disappointed all humanity by NOT desiring you.
And sometimes it's truly vile bullshit. Acting like she kicked your messenger down the well, and now you're threatening to conquer her Sparta.
But melodramatic, vile, or both, pulling this only proves one thing:
You fucking suck at being a hetero dude.
Seriously, you can't experience the one universal experience to us without being a sniveling loser or a vicious shit? I'd shoot you down too.
A quick "no worries" and going about your business costs you nothing but a little willpower at most, and makes the world a better place overall.
Try it and you might catch up to the rest of us.

Over the weekend I made it a point to ignore the news, because I was not spending a con weekend doing research or engaging. But it did show me something I hadn't realized.
Back when I wrote in-depth about various shootings, I eventually set a rule to not comment before 48 hours had gone by. Because I took it for granted that the news was far more concerned with being first than they were with being right, and that nobody would know anything solid before the people with eyes on had the time to file their reports and take a shower.
And bear in mind, this was on a subject where I had a good bit of depth of knowledge. Not so much that I didn't twitch inside when someone called me an expert, but enough that I was definitely on the far side of mount stupid and well across the valley to the next slope.
In the past few months, I've noticed quite a number of topics inciting the same level of... I'll be polite and call it "passion," which turned out to be the same way, be it fires in the Amazon or whatever Trump's up to next. They followed the same pattern of 48 hours of outrage, then in-depth commentary ranging from clarification to outright debunking (if you were paying attention) just before it fell off the news cycle.
I haven't been engaging in these nearly as much because, frankly, I'm not nearly as deep in these topics as I am in violence. I'll stop, look, and read, but I can only research so much. And given the number of smart and well-meaning but thoroughly fucking duped people I've had to deal with when armed to the teeth with expertise, I wasn't about to jump into such frays with the rhetorical equivalent of my underwear and a prison shank.
Hell, I don't have the time or energy to go into what I'm even half-prepared about. There's a reason the only six words you'll hear me comment about ICE at the moment are, "You're looking in the wrong places."
To be honest, I'm fighting human nature here. News as a business is in the toilet. Somewhere in the next world, Pulitzer and Hearst are looking at Walter Cronkite going, "our way wins, you stoic fuck." The only thing that pays the bills is clicks, and nothing gets you and me clicking more than pointing at something else for us to be pissed off about.
On top of that, there's now a grassroots movement to be perpetually pissed off. Not doing anything useful with it, just being pissed off. Seriously, how many stories showing some good people doing good things have you seen lately with the headline comment that's a variation on the theme of: "THE WORLD IS SHIT AND GARBAGE AND THESE PEOPLE HAD TO SHOW COMPASSION BECAUSE FACELESS GROUPS WE HATE WOULDN'T BOW TO OUR WHIMS! THERE, I FIXED IT FOR YOU!" ?
At least the news outlets have the understandable if pathetic reasoning of patronizing for clicks. I don't know what the screech-a-thon horde's excuses are. Being uselessly miserable gives cred these days, I guess. Fuck, find a heavy bag or something if you're that cranky. Then at least you're burning calories.
Going forward, I'm not even going to look at the hot new topic to get pissed off about for at least 48 hours, more likely 72. Waiting until the first responders have hosed off the blood and been debriefed is just as worthy for a wildfire or a filed lawsuit as it is for a mass shooting.
Some reading this now have the word "privilege" coming to mind. They can, one and all, go fuck themselves.
(Shit, the hit of dopamine will do 'em more good than the screeching will.)
Even if I believed in this bastardized concept of privilege, which I don't, I got too many dead friends and too much wasted time on my ledger to worry about someone making demands about the playlist on my emotional jukebox.  
So if you're wondering why I'm not engaging as much anymore, there it is. It's not enough to not feed the trolls, I can't in good conscience click on any more bait. One more person skipping the fast-food line of clickbait and going to the sit-down joint of in-depth analysis means healthier brain habits.
Who knows, it might even trend.