A barbarian walks into an NRA meeting...
I'm sitting in the back row livecommenting as I go.
The man sounds like a televangelist.
I'll concede the one point: we call it the Boston Massacre and the Valentine's Day massacre, but Columbine, with a higher body count than both, is called a "shooting" as often as its called a "massacre"
Of course, that swings into his fallacy that shooters are some sort of superior flavor of humanity.
A fanny pack.
Tell the world how you're carrying, sir.
.... Ok, I have a sporran on, that was petty of me.
I can't deny his passion. And I believe his motives are altruistic.
But the constant cherry picking of his data...
Yeah, talk about the horror of my generation then speak of Heath Ledgers death in baby talk to make a point about Aurora.
Prick.
..... Um, no, all Americans can't agree of complete disgust in the media.
.... And he's spouting his medical technology keeping the murder rate down horseshit. Already debunked that.
At least he's admitting his data is 20 years old.
Yeah, encouraging a roomful of conservatives to keep their outrage.
You're helping.
... And now hawking a book you co-wrote with Glenn Beck. I think that's the fourth one in a half hour.
Yelling about "sick, sick movies."
Resisted the urge to say, "present!"
He's talked about gangs for ten minutes and hasn't gotten racist.
I wish I had a cookie to give him.
Comparing grand theft auto 5 to the music industry. Do I even want to bother looking at those numbers?
... Hawking the book again.
Finally using new data...
...wait, from the NYT? The fuck?
You're using percentages to hide how low the raw numbers are.
Homicide explosion, my ass...
Wow, finally used the words "Ferguson effect".
Which we don't have enough data on to tell if its happening...
Now the movies are evil.
I think the fanny pack is just to hide your hate-boner, sir.
Ok, it's the first break. Back to the dealer's room.
He's going to be blathering until 6. I might come back.
Came in for the last half hour.
He's either a true believer or a champion bullshitter.
Now he's cribbing from Gates of Fire.
...accurately, but still.
Yeah, I still think his intentions are good. But his argument is so emotionally based and stands up to no cold scrutiny....
If there's a silver lining, this is a 400 seat hall with maybe 35 people in it.
Stuck around, shook his hand and thanked him for his work.
Because here's the thing:
For all that I disagree with his premises, for all that I think sheepdog theory is horseshit, the man's heart is in the right place.
He believes in paladins.
And that's important.
My generation wasn't spit on coming back from the wars.
We were ignored.
We weren't hated.
We were pitied.
For going to hell and back to the sound of the drums.
Its hard to throw shade on a man who thinks we should have been welcomed.
That there's a difference between killers and murderers.
So as much as I gave him shit, today and for years, I still thanked him.
Because that's important too.
Sometimes, it really does take a Marine to look a Ranger in the eye and say, "You don't suck as much as I sometimes say you do."
The man sounds like a televangelist.
I'll concede the one point: we call it the Boston Massacre and the Valentine's Day massacre, but Columbine, with a higher body count than both, is called a "shooting" as often as its called a "massacre"
Of course, that swings into his fallacy that shooters are some sort of superior flavor of humanity.
A fanny pack.
Tell the world how you're carrying, sir.
.... Ok, I have a sporran on, that was petty of me.
I can't deny his passion. And I believe his motives are altruistic.
But the constant cherry picking of his data...
Yeah, talk about the horror of my generation then speak of Heath Ledgers death in baby talk to make a point about Aurora.
Prick.
..... Um, no, all Americans can't agree of complete disgust in the media.
.... And he's spouting his medical technology keeping the murder rate down horseshit. Already debunked that.
At least he's admitting his data is 20 years old.
Yeah, encouraging a roomful of conservatives to keep their outrage.
You're helping.
... And now hawking a book you co-wrote with Glenn Beck. I think that's the fourth one in a half hour.
Yelling about "sick, sick movies."
Resisted the urge to say, "present!"
He's talked about gangs for ten minutes and hasn't gotten racist.
I wish I had a cookie to give him.
Comparing grand theft auto 5 to the music industry. Do I even want to bother looking at those numbers?
... Hawking the book again.
Finally using new data...
...wait, from the NYT? The fuck?
You're using percentages to hide how low the raw numbers are.
Homicide explosion, my ass...
Wow, finally used the words "Ferguson effect".
Which we don't have enough data on to tell if its happening...
Now the movies are evil.
I think the fanny pack is just to hide your hate-boner, sir.
Ok, it's the first break. Back to the dealer's room.
He's going to be blathering until 6. I might come back.
Came in for the last half hour.
He's either a true believer or a champion bullshitter.
Now he's cribbing from Gates of Fire.
...accurately, but still.
Yeah, I still think his intentions are good. But his argument is so emotionally based and stands up to no cold scrutiny....
If there's a silver lining, this is a 400 seat hall with maybe 35 people in it.
Stuck around, shook his hand and thanked him for his work.
Because here's the thing:
For all that I disagree with his premises, for all that I think sheepdog theory is horseshit, the man's heart is in the right place.
He believes in paladins.
And that's important.
My generation wasn't spit on coming back from the wars.
We were ignored.
We weren't hated.
We were pitied.
For going to hell and back to the sound of the drums.
Its hard to throw shade on a man who thinks we should have been welcomed.
That there's a difference between killers and murderers.
So as much as I gave him shit, today and for years, I still thanked him.
Because that's important too.
Sometimes, it really does take a Marine to look a Ranger in the eye and say, "You don't suck as much as I sometimes say you do."
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