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Uff Da

10/13/2020

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I've posted my share of stores about cringy lefty folks looking for guns.
Yesterday, a gun nut group I'm in had someone way on the other side that just made me twitch.
Older than my parents boomer. Morbidly overweight. Lost all his guns to a burglar years ago. Purpleish city in a red state. Asking what to get now. Thinks civil war is coming. Wants to defend home and family. Also wants to, direct quote, "suppress self-styled liberals."
I did my best to be nice. I don't like picking on people. I really don't like picking on scared people. I don't like telling people that they're dipping their toes into tinfoil hat lake. Nor do I like telling someone that their tactical assessment is about as fucked up as a cobra at a mongoose convention.
But seriously, the fuck?
What I did say was thus:
"Since you asked, and given what you've described?
Preference and Effective are ships that sailed long ago.
Find the closest thing to comfortable you can afford in a shop that has two boxes of rounds to go with it. Shoot off one box to familiarize yourself, keep the other box handy near wherever you're locking up the weapon.
Then relax. In any but the worst case scenarios, you're not even going to be in the same grid square as anyone needing suppression. Getting used to salads and getting to know your neighbors are gonna do a whole lot more to keep you alive than anything else at this point."
About the best I could hope for actually being paid attention to, given most of the thread was touting brand loyalty like it was last year or something.
Look folks, not to suck my own dick here, but I got a resume any guerilla wannabe would drool over. Know what the top four things I did to keep me alive in the last six months?
Number one, wore a mask.
If you're an antimasker, spare me your degree in virology from Facebook U. It ain't perfect, but paired with distancing and some hardcore hygiene practices, it beats the shit out of pretending we're back to normal. And if you think it's security theater, fine. It's not the bullshit disarming you security theater of the TSA. It's the security theater that keeps the 320 million other scared and angry people you're sharing this country with from panicking. Panicky crowds are deadly enough on their own. Do your part to keep them from happening.
Number two, bought an exercise machine I actually use.
I'm strong as fuck, but I'm also paunchy and not getting any younger. I never thought rowing would be my thing, but here we are. It's smaller, quieter, easier to use and more fun than the elliptical I had. Thus, I'm using it at least twice a day.
Number three, snuck in some portion control.
Dropping my morning omelet from four eggs and three meatballs to three and two respectively doesn't sound like much, but when you have a few a week, it helps.
Number four, cuddled the cats.
World's on fire, emotional care is a thing.
I've said before, I don't think we're entering a new civil war.
I do think we're in for some election day fuckery regardless of who wins, so if you're in a contentious area, visiting elsewhere for the week of election day may be a smart idea.
But even at our worst I don't see communist hordes invading flyover country as a significant threat to the cornfed ass of the OP.
We got a long way to go and nowhere near out of the woods yet, folks. Let's not stop to squat in thornbushes along the way, eh?
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    Jay Peterson

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