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Expendables posters and hazing

4/14/2014

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So, a friend of mine has been... less than impressed with certain elements of The Expendables 3 the more that gets released about it. Particularly, with Ms. Rousey's look for it. And what with me being an authority on boobplate and related matters, I suppose I should do a bit of analysis.
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Here we have some of the principals. Nothing too unusual here, mostly molle gear, maybe some A.L.I.C.E. stuff for old-school cred. Vests that could be armored (Statham's has a crease on the left-hand side that looks like the way a vest stretches against a SAPI plate), could be just tac vests.
And then there's the newbies...
These guys get some sort of flight suit with what looks like paintball pads strapped onto the torsos (although they could be some sort of new body armor I haven't heard of. Though last I checked, the Expendables universe was fantasy, not scifi. They also have this weird snake-scale camo pattern I haven't seen before.
And then there's Rhonda Rousey's outfit...
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... which for some inexplicable reason has no armor, shoulder cutouts, and a boob window.
Not exactly helping say anything more than "hey look, we've got a chick fighting with us!"
Still, it could be worse. Poor Antonio Banderas looks like he's doing an internship with team Zissou.
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I'm getting credit hours for this, right?
And Glen Powell drew the short straw of getting a hoodie instead of some sort of tactical top.
Oh, and he's the one who has to do the butt pose.
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Good trigger control there, buddy.
And to be perfectly fair to whoever did design Rousey's gear, they did better than this fan poster.
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Because nothing says "Action Heroine" like pouting at something on the floor.
And after all, critiquing a blow-em-up action fest like the Expendables franchise for its costume choices is silly. I mean, it's not like anyone is going to be foolish enough to emulate a film series like this just because the costumes look cool or anyth....
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No artistic influence to see here. Move along...
Um... yeah... It's coming out in August, I'm seeing it!

~Jay
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